By Frances Lee, The Smart Show staff writer

As I was munching on my bagel and schmeer yesterday morning, I stopped to read a sign that was outside the local coffee spot.

It read “If you don’t like gay marriage, blame the straight people. They’re the ones that keep having gay babies.”

I smiled and sipped my coffee when a tall, dark (and handsome) young man approached me and I geared myself for the cheesy pickup line I was going to endure myself from laughing at. I secretly keep mental notes of all the ones I hear as I will one day blog about them.

But this one really caught me off guard. He says “That’s fucking stupid, being gay is a choice. I can’t believe people actually believe in that, right?” Followed by an exceedingly obnoxious laugh.

I nearly choked on my everything-bagel when I heard that. First of all, how dare this guy hit on me with such a bold and biased statement and secondly, how was I supposed to react to that? My first reaction was to stuff his face with my bagel and shower him in my coffee but I realized it would be such a waste of food. And I realized that this could be a great potential interview.

“Really? How so?” I ask with a charming smile.

And I discover where his beliefs root from which is an incredibly Catholic and overly masculine upbringing. He puffed up his chest and introduced himself to me as Joseph, a local contracter that was born and raised in the sunny hills of Yorba Linda. This notorious WASP town known for its manicured neighborhoods and accredited school districts, bred a generation of overly ignorant and overly confident group of men.

“Being gay is a choice,” he re-stated. “Nobody is BORN gay, they CHOOSE to be gay because they are…well….GAY.”

And he continued to explain his insightful thoughts to me.

“When I walk through the mall and see gay guys working at the MAC counters or serving me hotdogs at Hot Dog on A Stick, I have to keep myself from barfing and kicking his ass. I mean, what dudes find it okay to wear makeup and prance around this town making a mockery of themselves? Its a (expletive)-ing disgrace. I ought to smash this sign and throw it in the dump.”

At this point I’m keeping myself from ripping him a new one but instead I innocently ask,

“Well, what about all the famous men in history that write about gay rights? Or the new discovery of the gay gene? Its real, you know. There is scientific evidence to prove it. Do you think it’s all a sham?”

And he replies with a scoff. “That’s all BS. Whoever made that up is stupid and should be burned at the stake. I believe in lesbians but only hot ones.”

So there it is folks. Being gay is a choice and homosexuals are scum of the Earth. Well, that is what Joseph from Yorba Linda said as he was trying to be smooth with me.

I sigh, walk away and sit in my car for a little while. I wonder to myself if this is what all guys in this town believe in or if there are any decent men in this world that are open to new ideas and thoughts. I spent that entire day thinking about what Joseph told me and wonder if he was really being serious with me.

Later that day he sent me a friend request on Facebook. I guess my name is not that common in this area. I didn’t add him, but I did notice how many mutual friends we have in common. I plan on asking those people and keep notes on their answers. Until then, I’ll proudly wear my MAC makeup and enjoy my greasy hot-dog from Hot Dog on a Stick.